Social Anxiety: The Fear Of Meeting New People

Social anxiety is a problem that silently affects many people. They are the ones who hide behind the doors of their homes and who prefer to meet only with those closest to them.

Insecurity, shame when interacting, constant feeling of being observed and judged, low assertiveness, phobias … We are facing an anxiety disorder that is more common than we think, and that can occur with less or greater intensity.

Also, under these conditions, the mind itself acts as the worst enemy. It is common for thoughts to appear that attend to ideas such as “behave as you should or they will look at you badly, do not show yourself as you are” or “they will laugh at you, they will turn their back on you because you will seem strange to them …”.

The fear of being rejected, of not liking others has a clear component: lack of self-esteem.

We do not believe in ourselves and we do not accept ourselves as we are. It is not that we are afraid of being disowned, it is that we already do it ourselves. Let’s see more data below.

What is social anxiety?

Social anxiety usually appears in adolescence. Thus, studies such as the one carried out by a team of researchers from the US National Institute of Mental Health and published in the journal Pediatrics , indicate that if it is not treated in that early youth, it tends to intensify even more with the passage of time. weather.

Likewise, this disorder is usually characterized by the appearance of psychological and physical symptoms:

Psychological symptoms

• Scared of speaking in public.
• Anxiety when you are with more people.
• Anguish before a date, job interview …
• Negative thoughts about yourself
• Feeling fallible at all times.

Physiological symptomatology

• Dizziness
• Stomachache.
• Tachycardias
• Avoid eye contact.
• Show a rigid body posture.
• Tremors, sweating in situations where you have to be with more people.

How can we treat social anxiety?

The best thing to do in these cases is to go to a psychologist if possible. Normally, the most appropriate approach to cope with anxiety is undoubtedly psychological therapy, and more specifically cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). On the other hand, here are some tips that could be helpful.

Start by speaking well to yourself

Other people will not always speak well of us and this is something we have to assume. We cannot be liked by everyone and this does not have to be a negative thing. You don’t like all people either.

So before starting a conversation with someone new or establishing new relationships, speak well to yourself. You can practice with the mirror. Without a doubt, it is one of the best tools we have at our fingertips.

You are not perfect, but you are unique. Everything that makes you up makes you special, to be who you really are. This you must protect it so as not to lose it.

Look at the times you have been spellbound seeing a person who was herself at her best. Confident people are not afraid to show themselves as they are and it shows.

Every morning, look in the mirror and smile at yourself. This will be the first exercise to do. Say something nice about yourself and repeat it again when you go to bed. Little by little, you will be able to accept and love yourself as you are.

The least expected day you will realize that you no longer care what others think and you will enjoy meeting new people who may (or may not) become part of your life.

Reduces overexertion

As we said at the beginning, thoughts pass through our minds that make us feel ashamed of ourselves, of how we are. This is so because from a young age they instill in us some behavioral guidelines, sometimes not very accurate.

How many times are children told to stop behaving like such. Girls are even told “stop jumping, or are you a boy?”

Words that creep into us and make us feel that shame with which we were not born.

Didn’t you notice that fear of exposing in front of many people when you were younger? Why did you go from talking like a parrot to being quieter than usual? We transform, losing our essence and everything that made us unique.

This causes us to fear that others will reject us because, sometimes, we cannot control ourselves and our most original part comes out that has criticized us so many times.

Believe in yourself, don’t be overwhelmed by what others have told you. Why do you give them credibility when you have the last word?

Free yourself from limiting beliefs

All these are nothing more than limiting beliefs that we have to remove from our life if we want to be happy and not be afraid.

Stop avoiding situations where you can meet wonderful people.  That social anxiety is not real, it is the product of those beliefs that you are putting yourself as barriers.

You have allowed them to be there, so only you can bring them down. What are you waiting for? Think that many of our fears are not real and, in most cases, they are quite useless.

Look inside yourself, reflect on how you feel, if it is something coherent, what it brings you and, if necessary, get rid of all those bad thoughts that are not leading you on the right path.

Being yourself can be easy, but it is not so easy when you are terribly influenced by society, by people and by bad experiences.

It is time to end all this. Recover and have no qualms about showing yourself as you are. Also, remember that the best strategy to overcome social anxiety is undoubtedly psychological therapy.