9 Science-backed Ways To Please People More

We are social beings and therefore, we need to like those around us in order to “connect”.  To be able to grow emotionally in more successful relationships. However, We know that “liking” or connecting with those around us is not always easy.

Our brain is programmed to bond with other beings  for many purposes, not just to survive. We look for positive emotions with which to grow, with which to appease fears and continue learning day by day.

Sometimes, we isolate ourselves in our palaces of solitude and we never develop adequate social skills with which to make friends, with which to start new emotional relationships. Here we offer a few simple tips backed by science that will be useful.

However, remember, integrate those tips that best suit your personality to always be YOURSELF.

1. Don’t abuse compliments to make people like you more

Do not do it. Never make the mistake of praising that person excessively to the point of inventing virtues just to make yourself more agreeable. It never works.

Be subtle on the subject of flattery because sometimes “less is more.” This principle is supported by the profit and loss theory of interpersonal attraction. Compliments are only meaningful when they are given occasionally and at the most convenient time. In excess, credibility is lost.

2. Reveal a defect, but only from time to time

We are sure that you have also noticed this aspect. When someone explains how careless, clumsy, or forgetful they are, they instill a certain closeness in you.

We identify more with this type of behavior. The “infallible” somehow seems more human to us and, therefore, we empathize with these behaviors and with these people almost instantly.

There are many experiments that show us this fact. Someone who, for example, spills his coffee when entering a room, who stumbles or makes a mistake, usually likes it much more.

3. Be close, touch from time to time but in a “subtle” way

To make someone like you, the last thing you have to do is invade their personal space. Do not hug, do not be “clingy” or else you will get discomfort and rejection.

• However, subtle acts charged with trust and closeness “leave their mark. “
• A pat on the shoulder, a gentle, imperceptible caress on the arm creates quick emotional connections.

4. Perceive others as they see themselves

We have to be intuitive. We all have a certain image of ourselves. If others treat us in a way that is very different from how we perceive ourselves, we will feel rejection.

If a person seems confident, brave and outgoing, don’t make him see that you are shy and timid. Be smart, observe and put into practice what is known as “the theory of self-verification “.

5. Let them talk about themselves and, above all, LISTEN

It encourages adequate communication spaces. Allow the other person to talk about themselves and above all, be receptive, show interest.

• To be liked, you have to be empathetic and know how to practice emotional openness.  So much so that one of the best strategies for connecting with someone is to let them talk about things with confidence.

Harvard University published an interesting study regarding this behavior. Our brain areas related to motivation and reward are activated when we share information about ourselves. It is something very emotionally positive.

6. “Copy” something of that person

It is not at all about leaving our personality aside to assume that of the other. It is much easier than all this.

• To like you have to connect and, to connect, nothing better than to establish affinities and promote similarities.

• New York University defined this behavior as the Chameleon Effect. If we imitate some gestures, words or behaviors we will “connect” much better with the other person.

7. Reveal a secret

What better way to bond than by revealing a secret? This type of intimate openness establishes the foundations of that emotional tissue essential to like and strengthen a relationship.

• We do it with our friends and with our future partners.
• The technique of “self-disclosure” must be practiced intelligently. You must be intuitive when it comes to knowing who you are going to reveal a secret to. Be cautious, be guided not only by your heart, but also by your intuition and your brain.

8. Make friends with their friends

We emphasize, once again, that it is not at all about leaving aside our essences, our personality. To please someone, we must be interested in everything that surrounds that person and identifies them.

• Something as appropriate as establishing positive relationships with that person’s friends always guarantees us success in these cases.
• Think, for example, how comforting it is to you that your partner gets along with your friends. All of us have significant people around us.
• If all these links harmonize with each other, we will enjoy a fuller, happier life.

9. Always in a good mood

Positive emotions are powerful. A captivating smile, a laugh cheers the heart and a positive attitude makes you fall in love.

We have to take this into account: if you want to like someone, do not focus on talking exclusively about your problems, your fears. Do not bring storms to whom you want to dazzle.

Practice the art of emotional contagion, because it is something infallible: make that person enjoy, laugh, see you as that magical being who always knows how to bring out the most beautiful thing in every moment.

Emotions have power when it comes to bonding. Be an architect of good energies, make the difficult easy and learn to connect from the heart, but always protecting your self-esteem.