Giving Love Does Not Tire, Being Disappointed Yes
No one can be exhausted by offering sincere affection for who, in turn, recognizes every effort and detail. Giving love does not tire. What darkens our spirits are the disappointments and every emptiness felt in those relationships.
The classic saying of “give love without looking at who” should specify various details, those that all of us have experienced in our own skin by giving the most of ourselves to those around us, without knowing that there are limits.
Some people take it for granted that receiving attention, praise, favors and affection is something that does not require effort, that just by having a partner is what is expected, without remembering that a relationship is a continuous exchange where “you give me and I offer you.”
Unconditional love is undoubtedly a very respectable thing. It is what a mother feels for a child, for example, an insurmountable pillar that we understand and value.
Now, “unconditionality” by itself is dangerous ground for many people. Because not in all cases it can be justified to continue giving affection and respect when we no longer receive it. When we are despised or betrayed. It is a common aspect in our affective relationships that we want to address in the following article.
Disappointment tires and slowly extinguishes love
Disappointment tires us and makes us open our eyes. However, until that moment arrives, we go through a series of complex and emotionally tough phases that makes us question many things.
It must be said that a disappointment is not always the first step towards a breakup. There are times when it allows us to see things more realistically to initiate more mature changes. Let’s see it in detail.
When love is blind and disappointment opens our eyes
There is something that usually happens when we are very young: living those affective relationships where we idealize the couple in such a way that, far from seeing any defect, we usually put them on a very high pedestal.
- Day by day we are showing that perfection does not exist, and that should not be bad or good. Seeing the reality of things is an appropriate – and necessary – way to better deal with a relationship.
- Our partner, like ourselves, is not perfect, much less infallible. We make mistakes, we all have hobbies and many defects.
- Those early disappointments should open our eyes to realize that for the relationship to thrive, we must both invest equally.
Faults are corrected, mistakes are used to learn and defects are harmonized with ours. Now, we also know that “there are disappointments and disappointments” and mistakes that cannot always be forgiven.
The disappointment that tires and hurts
There are facts, details, words and acts that open our eyes and that show us, with some impact, that a person was not what we expected.
- Most likely, it was never as we believed because, as we have pointed out previously, love tends to idealize the character of people.
- Love should never be offered with eyes closed. The most complicated thing about all this is that, when it comes to talking about emotions, we are already entering an area where it is very difficult to control what we feel.
- We can accept one disappointment, we can forgive one mistake, and even five. However, the moment he relapses regardless of the pain caused, we are undoubtedly forced to make a decision.
Continual disappointment not only tires you, it hurts and destroys our self-esteem. It is something that we must be very clear about.
I’ve gotten tired of so many disappointments
You don’t have to go to these extremes. When the heart gets too tired in the face of so many disappointments, it begins to either fade or accept the situation, to surrender.
- We must never fall into these situations where we tolerate disappointments to the point of thinking that it is “normal”, that it is best to hold on and keep quiet.
- It does not matter if they are partners, friends or even children. If there is no respect and there is a clear will to do harm just because, because it is not known what respect and sincere affection is, it is time to react firmly.
It is advisable to know how to do it already at the first disappointment. Once we open our eyes to a reality, we must face it and make it clear that we have been hurt. That is not how a relationship is built.
If something bothers you, give it a name and express it. If something disappoints you, show it, and offer strategies so that it does not happen again.
Finally, if the disappointments continue, it will be time for a stronger response. Otherwise we will be too injured, too fragmented. Do not let that happen.
